Anyone Else Feel ‘not So Sexy’ After A Baby?
My fiance and I have been together since we were 17..we are now 21 and we just recently had a baby girl. She will be 6 months on the 24th..Before baby i was 118 lbs and a size 3-5 and i use to think i was fat..but now after Baby i wish i could go back to a size 3-5..I am now a size 9..I was looking at pictures before i was prego and was like “I seriously have something wrong with me for thinking i was fat”..but now its like…I have stretch marks on my thighs and my stomach…and i still have a little bit of flab…I feel so incredibly Un sexy..my fiance thinks im beautiful and he loves the way i look…I just wish i could look like Hollywood actresses do after they had kids..The only time i feel sexy is when i have sex with him..he says he loves me the way i am but i just don’t like the extra jiggle.. =( anyone else feel this way? please dont tell me im the only one..lol
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Tags: After, Anyone, baby, Else, Feel, flab, Hollywood, hollywood actresses, NOT, Sexy', size, stretch marks, way
Posted on February 12th, 2010 at 2:25 am
Oh hunny.. your deff not the only one!! I feel ya! Ive been married for 2 1/2 years.. Been with my husband for over 4 years and have a 6 1/2 month old son.. And i was 118 when i met him at 16, 125 when i married him at 18… and was 140 when i was pregnant at 19… now after having him.. which i didnt gain alot of weight while i was pregnant.. only 23 lbs… i am somewhere around 160 maybe like 158.
i was a size 5 when i got married.. and was always thin. .well i thought i was huge then. untill now when i look in the mirror!! But now i cant get my fat but into a 7… i am more like a 9-10.. which is very hard for me.. I dont feel pretty.. def not sexy.. i only like having sex in the dark now.. when it used to be in the day time with all the lights on.. in the open!! if ya know what i mean!
I just want to let you know that… everyone gets stretch marks… and gains weight.. Even the famous people.. its just that they have more money to hide it all.. then we do!! dont be so down on yourself..
What im tryin to do it just look at myself.. the real me.. and do what it takes to make me happy.. and feel good about myself..
dieting..working out.. stretchmark remover.. all of it..
and your man will always love you..and your mommy marks.. its not like you got them because you didint take care of your self.. you gave him a child!!
And dont worry if you dont get back to the size you were.. your a mom now..and moms look different then non mom folk.. there hips get bigger and everything changes!! But im sure you look great!! and a size 9 honestly looks good.. HEALTHY. you dont want to look like your sick do you??
Good luck
Posted on February 12th, 2010 at 4:10 am
Oh yeah, give yourself time. It took me about year to get back to pre baby shape. It takes time for skin to come in and everything. Plus the added bonus of being tired from the baby, and not having as much couple time can really take toll on how sexy you feel.
And remember those hollywood actresses are not the norm. They have nannies, chefs and personal trainers.
Posted on February 12th, 2010 at 10:47 am
I feel “not so sexy” before baby. After having one kiddo, I also felt “not so sexy”. It is exhausting having to take care of a kiddo. Not to mention you have someone hanging on you all day long, when kiddo goes to sleep, who wants someone else hanging on you..hahaha
Now, Im 8 months pregnant again. Im thrilled about it, but I lost my sex drive long ago…. not to mention, yeah, the extra flab does not help. Im sure if I looked better, I would feel better!
Posted on February 12th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
i’m 8 months PP.
im about 10 lbs away from my pre preg weight…
i never feel sexy!
but im tring to lose the weight…
its hard..
my fiance says im beautiful and loves me the way i am… but like you said… looking at old pictures makes you wish you were that size again! lol
hang in there… everything goes back to normal eventually…
even stretch marks fade and turn silver….
use some firming lotion it helps.
oh… and phuck hollywood actresses, they all get tummy tucks and what not….
Posted on February 12th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
you are by no means the only one. I think just about every woman who’s ever had a child has felt this way. It took one whole year to get back to where i was pre baby… and even then, my body didn’t look the same. i was the same weight… but everything has shifted and moved. My husband tells me i look hot and loves me just the way i am, but you can’t help how you feel about yourself. I wish i had loved my body more before my son. I truly took it for granted!
Just get back to exercise and eating well… you will shed those pounds. The stretch marks fade… never fast enough, but they do. believe me… 99% of moms feel the same way.
Posted on February 12th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
Feeling unattractive after a baby is normal- it’s those of us who look in the mirror for the first time after birth and think “what the hell happened? I’m gorgeous!” that are the unusual ones.
I had an eating disorder due to depression before meeting my partner and had ballooned up to 90kg in weight. I lost 10kg during the pregnancy (about what most women gain!), so it was a hell of a shock to look in the mirror for the first time after birth and realise that I didn’t have to throw out those suits I had put aside for charity before the pregnancy- I wore them pretty much exclusively for the first two weeks until I could get casual clothes that fit!
Posted on February 13th, 2010 at 12:19 am
I’m pretty sure almost every single woman who has ever had a baby goes through that feeling. Don’t sweat it. I know it’s hard, but you have to learn to appreciate your body for what it is and learn to be happy with your body (within reason, of course…at a size 9 I’m sure you’re still not fat). And no one looks like the Hollywood actresses look after baby, except for Hollywood actresses. They do it through plastic surgery, so unless you are willing to risk surgery to have that look you’re out of luck there. Your boyfriend loves you just the way you are, and so does everyone else who counts. I’m sure you’re beautiful just as you are. And if you still want to tone up that flab a bit, that’s fine. But give it some time. Six months is hardly anything in the terms of changing the way you look.
Posted on February 13th, 2010 at 2:20 am
I am in the same boat as you. I was 100 lbs when i got pregnant. ( I know please dont say anything about my weight being so small). Anyways, now i am 120 and i feel like im not near as sexy as i was. my fiance said i was to small when we got together, but i would love to be that small again. but now i take his advise, i do sit ups every night and try to walk as much as possible, and when he says something looks good on me i listen to him and if it makes me feel sexy i wear it more. listen to the song one hot momma by trace adkins… my fiance said this is his song to me and this is kinda funny but it actually made me feel better about myself. i listen to the song all the time now!
Posted on February 13th, 2010 at 6:44 am
God, I haven’t been a size 9 in 10 years.
The way that Hollywood actresses look like that after kids is because they have surgery. Plain and simple.
Your fiance thinks you’re beautiful, you are beautiful. My husband said two things to me about my post partum body that have stuck:
1) “It’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.” (sounds harsh, but I appreciated the honesty.)
2) “We got married for ever. We were both going to age, and get less attractive, whether you had a baby or not.”
Yes, I wish my body were more beautiful than it is. But I’m 36 and the last time I was in a room with a bunch of women my age, I realized that I had a better body than most, even ones that hadn’t had kids. So many things in life make your body less perfect – but the only thing that does that that is also an amazing joy is having a baby.
Posted on February 13th, 2010 at 7:08 am
Hun, i am 31 weeks pregnant, i used to 102 pounds, naw i am 140 pounds lol i cannot get into size 1 pants any more, but sometimes soon or later you will go back, plus 3-5 is not fat if you used to think you were fat, even size 9 is not fat and it is very normale for women who have had babies not to go back to thier normale size, all you can do is try, but your not fat, i know people who were in a size 5 and naw in a size 20 lol your lucky in lots of ways lol
Posted on February 13th, 2010 at 7:25 am
hmm. i’m 200 pounds, a size 14, 5’10” tall and i feel sexy all the time. I’m all woman you know. i have big butt, small waist, I’ve got boobs, I have cellulite I’m soft and I look hot. Having fat on your body is normal and guys like it. Well a lot of them do at least. I’m only 21 and I always get compliments for how confident I seem when I’m naked. Guess what, guys don’t care if you weigh 100 pounds, 150 pounds or 200 pounds as long as you show that you want them, and you like what they do to you. Being soft is a part of being woman. Your body will always change so why not accept it for what it is and enjoy it. Relax and spoil it and share it with your man and I’m sure you both will be very happy..